one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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