Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
