Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
