Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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