The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
