It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
