sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
