You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
