I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
