Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
