Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
