My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
