Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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