That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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