these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
