i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
