I am full of burrito and curiosity
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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