she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
