Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
