Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is Oprah even human
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
