my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
