doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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