Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I want a musical about memes.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
