Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
