bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
