So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
This couple is walking their pig around campus
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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