he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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