her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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