There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
