He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
