My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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