do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
