this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
