I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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