Someone shit on the floor
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
