Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
