That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
