is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
