we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
