so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
