so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
