so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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