You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
