You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
