Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
