I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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