just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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