I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
