Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
