I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
