k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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